Starting from Scratch

Every year we feel the lulls of the end of the year as it is the ending of a chapter with the beginning of a new chapter coming thereafter. We sometimes reflect and make promises to ourselves, we inherently want to do better and be better. No one wants to be a burden or not feel good about the person they are.

New Years Resolutions become the theme. This year I will quit drinking, smoking, spending money on things I don't need, start working out, eat healthier, go back to school, start applying to that job I've always wanted etc. Every New Years Resolution is made with the best of intentions, a sense of pride and the idea of turning the corner to a better version of ourselves. Why then, do so many of these fail?

The intentions are great, however, there is often intention missing, let me explain. The intentions of the person are the idea they have, the intentionality is the actual action with which the changes are made and where the self-accountability lies. Being intentional with our time, efforts, standards and the necessary steps we need to make to complete our goal or resolution is how that resolution goes from an idea, to an action or set of actions.

Sounds simple right? If it is then why are there so many people who are unhappy and are not living their life the way they want to actually live it? Let's look at the scenario below.

Jimmy decides he wants to stop smoking and on New Years Eve, he vows that he will quit. Jimmy has a plan that he will only go to Costco gas stations because they don't sell cigarettes, purchases nicotine patches and begins taking early morning walks to create a routine for himself. Jimmy works in a residential mental health facility which is high stress and has multiple incidents of violence and crisis daily.

For the first week Jimmy does well, he doesn't smoke and when he feels like it he reminds himself of the promise he made to himself and he feels better knowing he is making the decisions instead of the cigarette making them for him.

A few weeks in Jimmy gets a notice from his landlord that his rent will be raised $200 starting in February. This creates more stress for Jimmy because he is working in a job at a non-profit and hasn't received a raise in over a year. Later that night after getting off work Jimmy notices that a window has been broken out of his car, luckily, Jimmy didn't have any valuables in the car, but he will still have to replace the window.

Jimmy is flustered, how will he pay for the upcoming added rent and the window? Jimmy tells himself, "I always try to do better and this is what happens. Why even try?". Jimmy walks over to the gas station and buys a pack of cigarettes and starts smoking. Jimmy lasted almost 3 weeks.

There are countless resolution stories similar to this. The outcomes tend to be based on outside circumstances and not our intentional actions. The patterns we live by are the patterns we die by. If every time a few things go wrong, we stray from our standard, we will remain in the same loop; like the hamster on the wheel.

In the movie series Creed, Rocky tells Creed, "One step, one punch." I truly see this as a metaphor for change, progression and life in general. Every action is connected to the next. We all have that little voice in our head when things get rough that tells us to stay comfortable, but we don't have to listen. We have the choice, the option to be true to ourselves. This is how confidence is built. You can't be confident if you are not true to yourself, can you fake confidence? Yes, however at the most inopportune time, as we see above with Jimmy, the unconfident and wavering from the standard will show itself.

One Step, One Punch

As we start off 2024 I encourage everyone to be intentional, be true to who you are and to the person you want to be in the future. I have my own goals as well, I have that voice that says, "No you can take a break". I hear it, and I decide to disagree with it. A while back the Lakers were up 2-0 in the finals and a reporter asked Kobe Bryant, "Aren't you happy? You are up 2-0." Kobe replied, "The jobs not done, I won't be happy until the job is done. " Lets all have that Mamba Mentality for 2024.